While I am loving Des Moines, and my new life here, it is still difficult to leave behind my life as a student and Young Life leader at OU. The past 18-ish years of my life have been spent in the structure that comes with being a student, but in June, that phase of my life came to an end- at least for now. For the first time in my life, I do not have a timetable for the next phase, and I will admit: that's pretty scary.
When I thought hypothetically about where my life would be going after graduation, it was exciting to think about the lack of boundaries I would have. I could go anywhere and do anything. But that was all hypothetical. Now it's real. I could go anywhere and do anything. Sounds exciting, right? Maybe it should be, but I find it a bit terrifying.
For the most part, I have always known what the next year would hold for me. I knew how long it would take me to finish high school. I knew that after high school I would go to college. I knew (or assumed and prayed) that I would finish college in 4 years, and then begin my job search. Now I only know what I am doing right now. I know that I am currently living in Des Moines, Iowa working as a newspaper designer. There is no roadmap or Cliff's Notes for my life. Although, I guess it has always been that way. I could have been in an accident that prevented me from graduating high school or run into financial troubles that forced me to complete college in 5 years instead of 4. These things were never "givens," but I had assumed they were. Life seems so much more real now.
I actually don't mind working eight hours every day. I expected that to be a lot more of a shock to my body than it turned out to be. I was ready to be done with school and put all my learning to practical use. The most difficult thing about moving into this next phase is that my friends aren't as accesible as they have been for the past 4 years. I don't live within a half square mile of everyone I would possibly want to hang out with, and I don't have time to hang out until 4 a.m. every night of the week, or any night for that matter.
I'm still trying to get into a rhythm with my daily schedule. Working nights can be difficult because my schedule is the exact opposite of most people's, which means that when I'm not at work, everyone else is, and vice versa. I sleep a lot, and I go shopping a lot.
It's not that I'm lonely, just lonelier. Over the past few years, I have become accustomed to hanging out with my friends every day, but no matter what career or life choices I made, this was going to end when I graduated college. I miss hanging out with no particular plan- wandering into 11 Stewart Street, knowing that there would be a friend or two or ten or thirty sitting in the living room. I spent at least 25% of all my time in college at this house, and probably 75% of my best memories took place there. Where else would you find someone over the age of five drawing cat whiskers on their face with a marker completely sober (and it wasn't Halloween either)? In fact, the summer before senior year, I definitely spent more time at 11 Stew than I did at my own house. Way more.
I have been so lucky to have this place and the people that frequented it in my life. It was my source of entertainment, my method of procrastination, my support system, my home and family away from home. Life is a lot different without it, but more importantly, my life is different because of it. So here's a shout-out to everyone who's ever been in that house: I love and miss the crap out of you, and am so, so, so grateful for you. To the people who live there: Thanks for the enormous sacrifice of privacy, alone time, and peace and quiet you have made by opening your home. It is so much more than the typical, structurally questionable college house. You preached the Gospel through your hospitality, showing Christ's love to everyone who walked through the door. Way to be.
"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42-47
Never have I seen this lived out so well.
So let the countdown to Homecoming begin! 15 days...
I've been playing with pen and watercolor sketches lately, so here's an early one. I bugged my friend Tim repeatedly to send me a picture of his house, which he finally did, but then of course I accidentally deleted the text before I did the drawing. Therefore, this one's from memory, so it's not quite right, but close enough!
Whew, that was a long one!
Fun fact: A middle school teacher once offered me a whole bucket of candy not to talk for the rest of the day. I talk that much. (And yes, I did it.)
